NEWSFLASH - Snap Presidential election in Zubuto (Reuters)

President Dudu at Z.I.P. rally in Mpangi

From our political correspondent in Mpangi

In a surprise move, the President for Life of Zubuto, Dr Depe DuDu, has called a  snap presidential election to be held this weekend across the nation. At a press conference in the presidential complex in Mpangi, President DuDu stated that the election was necessary in order to address accusations of corruption that have been levelled at the Zubuto leadership by foreign critics, most notably the President for Life of Mbote, Colonel Banga Boum:

'We shall see how the loyal and dedicated people of Mpangi respond to these wild and unfounded accusations! I have full confidence in the wisdom and gratitude of the Mpangi electorate!

Under the Zubuto constitution, all men over the age of fifty are entitled to register for the ballot, although registration documents and an administration fee are a pre-requisite for entitlement. The administration fee is currently set at Z 34,000,000, approximately US $1000, while the registration documents have to be completed in Ancient Greek or 'the language of democracy'.

The President later appeared at a rally spontaneously organised by Z.I.P., the political party affiliated to Dr DuDu, at which he pledged to retain his presidential title and strengthen his role as elected leader of the nation. As President for Life of Zubuto, Dr DuDu is entitled to retain his position of power indefinitely, subject to popular mandate and 'in order to ensure stability in the on-going state of emergency' which has been in place since 1956.

(in other words...it's AK47 at the club next week)