Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Newsflash - Mbote declares state of emergency (Reuters)

Zumatan Regulars occupy Tchwane
From our correspondent in Wanga Wanga

The on-going war between Zumata and Mbote escalated dramatically yesterday after Zumatan armed forces stormed across the lightly defended border near Lake Npungwe. An isolated border post of the Mbote Defence Force (MDF) was surrounded and wiped out in the intial engagement, despite the deployment of the only available heavy weapon, an obsolete self propelled anti-aircraft gun. 

Mbote MDF border patrol pulls out of Djuba
The Zumatan forces, using a combination of heliborne troops and wheeled transport, occupied a number of strategic objectives including the Mpon-Gold Company mine at Djuba and the oil storage facility at nearby Tchwane. The arrival of an MDF relief force from Mpongoville dislodge the Zumatan troops, who had dug in and used close assault tactics to blunt the firepower of the Mbote units.

After a short but bloody engagement, the MDF retreated from the field in disarray, leaving a trail of burning vehicles, dead and wounded in their haste to escape. A spokesman for the MDF, Major D'sastta, issued the following press release:

'This dastardly and duplicitous attack by the evil Zumatans is yet another example of the naked aggression and gangsterism of Dr Kenko Gold and his corrupt regime'

In a later announcement on Radio Mbote FM, General Papi Mpongo, resident president of Mbote, declared a State of Emergency before boarding his private jet for an urgent high level diplomatic meeting in Monaco.

1 comment:

  1. Wanga Wanga has got me laughing far more than it should.

    C'mon the Zumatans!