From our diplomatic correspondent in Mboteville
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| Pappa Kenko reviews the KRAP |
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| Pappa Kenko |
To celebrate the otherwise forgettable Putango Independence Day on Friday 13th October. So-called Supreme Leader Pappa Kenko and his followers have reviewed a parade dress rehearsal of the Kenko Rebel Army of Putango (KRAP) through the capital city of Putang (outside reports suggest this could be just a show of force against the peace loving Mbote people though).
A raffle has also being organised by his office to celebrate this poorly attended occasion. For the chance to win a year's supply of coffee, entry to this FREE raffle costs a ridiculous 200,000 Putango pounds. Tickets are selling very poorly as rumours suggest proceeds go towards helping the refurbishment of the Supreme Leaders new Palace stables.
Mbote Military Intelligence has reported that the KRAP force will be looking to extend their territories back into Mbote (who swiftly regained land stolen by Putango in 1975 whilst KRAP forces were celebrating their dubious leaders wedding to his 5th bride) and will use this parade in a futile attempt to intimidate the Mbote Defence Force.
General Papi Mpongo, President for Life of the Democratic People's Republic of Mbote, stands firm against the upstart, illegitimate Kenko Republic of Putango Regine and it's warmongering so-called parade, a shoddy attempt to intimidate the indestructible Mbote Defence Force and People's Volunteer Army militia. Any aggressive move by the KRAP interlopers will be smashed by the armoured fist of Mbote like a ripe banana!
Slanderous lies! Pappa Kenko is peace loving and cares for his people and has shown to be a true leader. Mbote is showing nothing but aggression towards the peaceful Putango people, even though Kenko had extended the offer of friendship by expanding the raffle for Mbote people to play. Papi Mpongo is obviously jealous that Mbote people want to have the chance to win a year's supply of the luxurious Putango coffee. Something that they probably wouldn't be able to enjoy normally as Mbote coffee is clearly inferior in taste.
ReplyDeleteAwesome. I love these posts. All power to Mbote!
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