From our diplomatic correspondent in Gombo
In a sudden and unexpected turn of events, the President for Life of Zumata, Doctor Kenko Gold, has been killed by a suspected bomb blast at the formal opening of the Regional Peace Summit in the royal palace in Gombo. Dr Kenko Gold was acting as a mediator in the talks between the Mbote and Bana Soto governments and was due to deliver his opening speech to the conference after the reception.
Initial reports indicate that an explosive device, possibly concealed in a spicy jambok flavoured vol au vent, detonated during the reception held for the delegates prior to the official state banquet. An eyewitness at the reception, the Ambassador for Monaco, Mr Ferrero Rocher, described a scene of total chaos and confusion amongst the assembled dignitaries. In the blast, at least two other members of the Zumatan entourage were injured including Dr Kenko Gold's personal assistant, Mr Mafousa.
As yet, there have been no clues as to the identity or motives of those responsible for the explosive hors d'oeuvre but both President Washington Deesee of Bana Soto and Colonel Banga B'oum, President of Mbote, have accused each other of attempting to derail the fragile peace negotiations. It has been reported that both leaders have now returned to their respective nations under heavy armed escort by the Mbote and Bana Soto internal security forces.
You do realise members of UKIP will stumble upon this stuff and believe every word... :)
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